I thought about really explaining this more in detail, but, you know, when this much happens before you even manage to make it to work, then you know the day's tone is set.
Below are excerpts from a quick chat with Chrissy after the adventures:
Mikel
I have had the craziest f'ing morning
Christina
what happened?
do tell
Mikel
dentist appt. The novocaine shot in my upper lip made my left eye cry uncontrollably... then I left my coffee mug on my car and drove off, so coffee went everywhere on my car, prompting me to get a car wash, at which point I was surrounded by INSANE people, including a 70-year-old woman in a pencil skirt and bondage heels with stringy, dyed black hair that was kind of in a bun who was hobbling around the gas station snack shop.
Christina
are you kidding?
Mikel
no
Christina
you couldn't be
Mikel
There's MORE
but I'll spare you
Christina
my favorite part is that it made your left eye cry
DON'T SPARE ME
I live for this shit
Mikel
Um...OK, the other people at the car wash were a publicist woman for some film studio who was yelling at a co-worker on speaker phone and who had way to many collagen injections. She kept coming over near me to look at the free mags on the rack I was near-you know, like "Apartment Living"-all while yelling...until I finally said loudly "AM I IN YOUR WAY?" and she ignored me and walked away.
THEN...
Christina
HA
Mikel
A guy with custom-made shoes kept trying to sit near me. Why were they custom made you ask...? Well, that's because his left foot was HUGE and DEFORMED like the Elephant Man's, so the shoes matched, but one was 3 times larger. AND he was busy arranging all the birthday cards he'd just bought inside the snack shop.
It's not even 11 am yet. What, pray tell, is next?
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3 comments:
Please tell me you snuck a camera phone picture of those shoes.
sadly, no! my stupid camera phone wouldn't get a decent pic unless I was up close to her and then she disappeared into the bathroom!
I want to slap the publicist lady and I wasn't even there. What makes people think that speaker phone in public (especially if you're yelling at someone) is appropriate?
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