Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The "Which Punctuation Mark Are You?" Quiz

Did you like the use of punctuation marks in the title of this post?

If so, you are the perfect candidate for this test.

Ignore those lame Facebook "Which Painting Are You?" and "Where Should You Live?" quizzes. This quiz is the one that will tell you more about yourself than you ever imagined.

All you need to do is answer these seven simple questions, send me your responses (or post them in the comments section, and,as time permits, I will tell you what punctuation mark you are and why it matters. (All responses done on a time-available basis; I ain't gettin' paid, you know.)

But enough chit-chat, let's begin:

1. When people say "like" all the time, it:

a) Doesn't bother you that often
b) Drives you crazy
c) Makes you realize that this is now just part of how we speak
d) Is not something you have ever noticed

2. You are assigned the task of writing a paragraph that includes small bits of information about many different things. You:

a) Create a list of all of the things that need to be included as a "cheat."
b) Make it into two or three paragraphs, because you know there is no way you can get the point across in one.
c) Write it in two different ways and give it to the person who assigned it to see which one she/he prefers.
d) Question the person who assigned it as to whether this is the smartest way to convey all of this information.

3. You believe that social gatherings at your house should consist of:

a) Close friends only
b) Friends and family
c) The more the merrier
d) You are not that big on entertaining

4. You are a big believer in:

a) Keeping things short and sweet
b) Passionately expressing yourself
c) Never ending a sentence with a preposition
d) Quietly doing what needs to be done

5. Your opinion on learning a foreign language is:

a) Everyone should learn one
b) You don't really see the need
c) Learn as many as you can and as early as you can
d) That you'll learn one eventually, when you have more time

6. You prefer to read:

a) Newspapers
b) Magazines
c) Gossip Web sites
d) Books

7. The sentence "Joe likes to chew gum, ride his bike, collect stamps, and, especially, peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwiches" is:

a) A tad awkward but could easily be made more clear
b) A jumbled mess
c) Perfect
d) Better off as four different sentences

Thursday, March 12, 2009

And Now for a Special Announcement About This Morning

I thought about really explaining this more in detail, but, you know, when this much happens before you even manage to make it to work, then you know the day's tone is set.

Below are excerpts from a quick chat with Chrissy after the adventures:

I have had the craziest f'ing morning

what happened?
do tell

dentist appt. The novocaine shot in my upper lip made my left eye cry uncontrollably... then I left my coffee mug on my car and drove off, so coffee went everywhere on my car, prompting me to get a car wash, at which point I was surrounded by INSANE people, including a 70-year-old woman in a pencil skirt and bondage heels with stringy, dyed black hair that was kind of in a bun who was hobbling around the gas station snack shop.

are you kidding?


you couldn't be

There's MORE
but I'll spare you

my favorite part is that it made your left eye cry
I live for this shit

Um...OK, the other people at the car wash were a publicist woman for some film studio who was yelling at a co-worker on speaker phone and who had way to many collagen injections. She kept coming over near me to look at the free mags on the rack I was near-you know, like "Apartment Living"-all while yelling...until I finally said loudly "AM I IN YOUR WAY?" and she ignored me and walked away.


A guy with custom-made shoes kept trying to sit near me. Why were they custom made you ask...? Well, that's because his left foot was HUGE and DEFORMED like the Elephant Man's, so the shoes matched, but one was 3 times larger. AND he was busy arranging all the birthday cards he'd just bought inside the snack shop.

It's not even 11 am yet. What, pray tell, is next?