Anatomy of Election Day 2006

1:15 a.m.: Go to sleep

4:45 a.m.: Get up to go to Burbank Airport

6 a.m.: Arrive Burbank

7 a.m.: Fly to Phoenix

9:30 a.m. (MT): Leave Phoenix airport's bizarre rental car terminal; get on highway; see other side of highway shut down and an array of cops with guns drawn pointing at a giant fat, bald man wearing a half shirt who is kneeling on the freeway and being frisked by a female police officer.

10:30 a.m.: Slowly drive north toward Scottsdale, wondering why there is so much traffic. Talk to co-worker about our 11 a.m. meeting at a nearby resort re: PR. See cops pull over more people. Listen to all the religious radio stations that have songs with lyrics like "God is awesooooome...." Ponder how God can actually be "awesome."

11 a.m.-2 p.m.: Have meeting at lovely resort; have great lunch overlooking the desert and mountains.

2:30 p.m.: Back on freeway, stuck in traffic. Get slightly rear-ended by another car. Pull over and exchange information with poor guy who tapped us. Try to get back on freeway and realize people here can't drive and don't like cars trying to do something called "merging."

3:30 p.m.: Drop off car at weird car prison 3 miles from airport. Take shuttle back to aiport even though we just drove past it. Check in at work via phone.

4:30 p.m.: Fly back to Burbank.

5 p.m. (PT): Arrive in hot, hot Burbank still in my suit. Get car. Drive to Hollywood. Turn on radio to hear it was 95 degrees today.

6:15 p.m.: Vote at elementary school where old women either smile or sneer at me. Put my "I voted" sticker on cell phone.

7 p.m.: Dinner and a deep breath at home.

8 p.m.: Go to Tim's to join him, Sara, and Dana for election results. Exhausted and tense.

9 p.m.: Drink champagne when Democrats take the House.

10 p.m.: Still drinking. Excited that there is finally change afoot. Breathe a sigh of relief and then realize Dems may also win the Senate. Get tense again. We all chat excitedly about 1992 election, remembering how excited we were when Clinton won. Guess how much plastic surgery Nancy Pelosi has had, but discuss how great tonight is for her.

11:15 p.m.: Obsessively watching CNN and MSNBC hoping they will call MT or VA Senate races.

11:45 p.m.: Finally leave Tim's house, tense, excited, exhausted...

12:30 a.m.: Blissful sleep, with a dream about Nancy Pelosi walking around my apartment.

3:30 a.m.: Wake up from said dream. Look at new mosque-shaped alarm clock Steven got me in Oman. Realize, thankfully, I have 4 1/2 more hours to sleep before I obsessively check Yahoo News.