Monday, June 16, 2008

Marriage

I thought of snappier titles, but this one kind of says it all. I cannot believe that I have lived to actually see gay marriage legalized. Yes, I know, it has been in several other places already. But today, California, where I live, started allowing same-sex marriages. Since I am a resident here, I am seeing the effect--the media, people buzzing about couples who are getting married. I've even had an invite to one such wedding. It's kept a smile on my face for most of the day.

Of all the arguments I love when it comes to this issue, it's the one about "history" that makes me laugh. For example, plenty of bigots talk about how "throughout history" and "across continents," marriage has always been between a man and a woman. Um, OK. Marriage was also about property, inheritance, land, and the complete subjugation of women to men. But let's not get into the messy details. After all, we want our bodice-ripper "historical romance" novels to ring "true."

I almost understand on some weird level those who disagree on religious terms--but only because I don't think marriage should have anything to do with religion. If it was only a civil ceremony, then... But that's a whole other story...

The best quote today came from an elected official--Republican Assemblyman Doug LaMalfa--who said he was disturbed that four people (i.e., four state supreme court justices) went against/overrode the will of the people in making this law. This rant could go on forever, but, really, let's be honest: judges of that caliber do tend to be much more intelligent than the general populace (and therefore I'd rather have them making laws since they, um, STUDIED it and PRACTICED it for decades), and they didn't achieve that position by putting daisies in rifles or wearing "No Nukes" shirts. Also, why is an elected official basically admitting by default that he's glad he's dumb, too? Oh, right, the need to look like an Everyman--a man of the people...who can then go against some of the same people who voted for him by telling them they have no legal right to be and love who they want.

So you see...we have achieved clarity.

After all, when you have the most sacred, holy vow of marriage bestowed upon you (as is your God-given right, apparently), then you can do things like this:

--

NC couple accused of tying son to tree charged

By MARTHA WAGGONER, AP

A couple accused of killing their 13-year-old son by tying him to a tree for two nights for punishment appeared in a courtroom Monday to face charges of murder and felony child abuse.

Attorneys appeared Monday with Brice Brian McMillan, 41, and his wife Sandra Elizabeth McMillan, 36, of Macclesfield.

"It's a sad case," defense attorney Allen Powell, who represents Brice McMillan, said after the hearing. He declined any further comment, and the couple did not enter a plea.

The county sheriff's office has said Brice McMillan told a deputy the teen was being disobedient and was forced to sleep outside last Tuesday while tied to a tree. The teen was released Wednesday morning, but again tied up that night for bad behavior.

Sheriff James Knight has said the boy was left tied to the tree until the following afternoon, when his stepmother found him unresponsive. Authorities believe the boy was bound to the tree with plastic ties and possibly other kinds of material.

Macclesfield is about 60 miles east of Raleigh.

--

Then again, maybe marriage should only be for straight people. We've managed to "take back" words like "queer" and "fag"; can't we come up with a pseudonym for "marriage"? I see why it shouldn't be like that, trust me. And I most certainly see why people like Newt Gingrich and John McCain and Rudy Giuliani, etc. etc. get a chance to try their hand at marriage AS MANY TIMES AS THEY WANT. They're simply better than the rest of us.

Of course, this new right we have as gay Californians could disappear come November when all the right-wing nutballs and closet cases and conservatives who are afraid of anything not sold at Wal-Mart vote to ban same-sex marriage. To that, I say, when you know a party might go on for only so long, you make the most of the time you have.

5 comments:

k. said...

I have mixed feelings about gay marriage, but I can imagine that if I were in CA, even I would be caught up in the wave of gay love.
I worry that married gay people will now become like married straight people and look down disapprovingly at all us unmarried couples as though we're not as mature and civilized as they are. I've already run into this attitude with a lesbian couple I know who are legally married under MA law. One of them assured me that she would "still" fight for the rights of us unmarried people.
gee, thanks. That's big of you to think that even though I'm not married that I still deserve health care.
If gay people want to get married, fine, but I really really really hope they don't get all smug about it.

Steve said...

Well said, as always, Mikel. It's unfortunate that civil and religious marriage are bound together here in the United States. They were separated back in 1789 in France, thanks to the Revolution. Which is why all marriages there must be civil. Once you have done that, you can do whatever you want or don't want with a religious ceremony. But the government only recognizes civil ceremonies. It's very exciting to see same sex couples finally receiving their 14th Amendment rights in California. Let's hope that the good people of CA vote to keep gay marriage going in November. The right wing knows that it is losing ground on this issue as each day passes. Wish I was there to see all the fun associated with these weddings.

Mikel said...

k: I agree with you, really. personally, I'm not even thinking of getting married. but if I ever do, I'll make sure the celebration is so smug you'll never forget it.

k. said...

maybe we could develop a whole wedding line called Love Smug: Specializing in weddings for the smug couple.
Invitations would read something along the lines of: "Like it or not, we're getting married. We know you'll agonize over whether you should decline our invite in protest, or attend and just pout self-righteously. We want you to know that either way, we'll hardly notice you."

Rick Andreoli said...

I'm getting married for the gifts. And the free wine tastings and cake tastings. And for the choreography-- I love a good show. And to have people tell me how cute Steve and I look together. (Okay, we get that anyway. Never mind... I'll think of some other silly reasons to be married and get back to you with those.)

But we won't be smug. It causes wrinkles.